Mostly dead

Note that this English language blog is not updated since May 2012 when the number of Czech readers became an order of magnitude bigger than number my English readers.

Tidbits from my personal life (in Czech) can be found on www.FFFilm.name (amongst my film reviews), and on my Google Plus.

The Shit Just Got Real

The wedding is next month.

See svatba.fuxoft.cz (in Czech).

Also, Albert and Chucky are now in a Civil Union.

The end of an era, the beginning of a different era

Because Hanka cannot wear ring or necklaces (because of the violin playing) I gave her these earrings as an engagement present:

After many, many years of looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, I found someone. Hanka is not perfect (nobody is ever perfect) but much, much closer to perfection than anyone I ever found before. And, of course, she found me. I hope she did.

The biggest challenge facing both of us now is to not lose any of those great things we found so far. Whatever happens.

Also, her ears are not hairy, that's just the poor lighting and the mobile flash...

It had to be done

Frantisek Fuka is now in relationship. It's not complicated.



It took me more than 9 months after the break-up (and 8 months after Jitushka moved out) to do this.

Problem solved!

My mother informed me she is getting ready to kill herself but she is worried about what will happen to her goldfish.

My dear ex-girlfriend offered she will take the goldfish with her to her new flat.

I just love it when everything works.

Yesterday, Albert was 8 years old. In other news...

...In other news, me and Jitushka have broken up today.

There is really nothing to add, except maybe:

• There is no "clear single act" that caused this, much less anything scandalous.
• We were together for almost three years. That's not bad!
• Any sort-of-clever aphorism or short summary I'd write about the reasons (e.g. "She was too good for me!") would trivialize the whole thing immensely and unjustly.
• In the foreseeable future, Jitushka will still live with me, until everything is sorted out. For example, we are preparing Albert's birthday party for our friends (and dogs).
• I am quite positive our age difference was not the main problem. Nor the fact she doesn't like Star Wars and Indiana Jones.
• No, this will not "be over in a few days" and we are not "going to be back together", at least not in the foreseeable future.
• I sincerely hope (although I cannot be sure, of course) that we are both the sort of people who can remain friends even if they are (currently) not partners.

This is all really just FYI, so that I don't have to answer similar questions again and again. If you are feeling miserable for me, please don't. I am fully capable of feeling miserable on my own.

• You really don't have to remind me about "all the good things we experienced together" and how intelligent and beautiful Jitushka is. I am aware of those things better than you are, thank you.
• You really don't have to ask me if I am sure I did the right thing, what will happen in X days / months / years and if there's life on Mars.
• You really don't have to tell me that you are sorry, you feel for me, "Time is the greatest healer", "You'll find better girl" and similar crap.

Of course I am not ordering you what to write / say, but these things won't help me at all so you really don't have to bother unless you really cannot control you goodwill ejaculations.

If you have original (legal!) suggestions about what to do with the spare time after I am done translating "Predators" and "Inception", feel free to suggest...

No, I Am Not Your Facebook Friend

A long time ago, I registered myself on several social sites (Facebook, MySpace, Plaxo etc...).

Recently, Facebook was "discovered" by Czech users which means that I am now getting about 30 Facebook notifications in e-mail daily, most of which look like this:

"Honza added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know Honza in order for you to be friends on Facebook. To confirm this friend request, follow the link below."

When I go to facebook.com, often I have no idea who that person is. Sometimes I know that person but - and this is the important bit - this doesn't mean the person is my friend.

Facebook seems to imply that knowing someone automatically means I am friends with him. That's certainly not true. There are dozens of people I know, I don't hate them, I don't think they are stupid, I'd even lend them money under some specific circumstances, but that doesn't mean they are my friends. If this feature was called "My contacts", I'd have no problems with it.

There are also people who I am friends with "virtually", over the net. Of course, I have no way of knowing that "Honza" is in fact "L33THax0RG0D@Haxx.net" who I am communicating with daily over Jabber.

Another thing that rubs me the wrong way is the fact that becoming friends with someone automatically makes me part of bizarre activities:

The thing on the right is a small part of what I see every day on Facebook (incidentally, these people are my real friends). I'd probably like to know details about why Robert Rameš loves me, because I always thought he was hetero, but when I click on "Click here", I must "Allow this application to access all your private data" and only after that I am allowed to see the whole truth (I quote):

"Fatal error: Uncaught exception 'FacebookRestClientException' with message 'Notifications are disabled for this application.' in /home/www/ilyfb.leadhoster.com/facebookapi_php5_restlib.php:2403 Stack trace: #0 /home/www/ilyfb.leadhoster.com/facebookapi_php5_restlib.php(969): FacebookRestClient->call_method ('facebook.notifi...', Array) #1 /home/www/ilyfb.leadhoster.com/index.php(10): FacebookRestClient->notifications_send(Array, '/home/www/ilyfb.leadhoster.com/facebookapi_php5_restlib.php on line 2403"

Tragic love, indeed.

When I want to know what the hell is this "I love you" application, the only working link leads to Facebook discussion page with "I love you" and "This is spam" messages, all from people I don't know.

Facebook is fast becoming the new MySpace, with people "adding", "tagging", "making friends" and "subscribing to apps" only in order to have some sense of achievement from the fact that they have the most firends/apps/feeds. Soon, all of this will be automated a everyone will become everyone's friend automatically, without having to ever visit Internet. And there will be worldwide peace.

Certainly there are interesting apps and interesting uses of Facebook. Unfortunately, they are being buried under enormous heaps of digital waste and thinly veiled spam. I hope I won't have to completely delete my profile (as I did on MySpace) but meanwhile, I am disabling all my Facebook e-mail notifications. Because my friends know how to contact me and make me part of their activities.

Bow Down, Heathens!

High-Tech Solution For Low-Tech Problem (Part 2)

This was my first use of Google Sketchup. Pity it doesn't run natively under Linux...



A little explanation if you care for it: The dogs are sleeping with us in the bed since God knows when. The bed is over 60 cm high but Chucky is capable of jumping on it from the ground and Albert had a little wooden box next to the bed and he used that as a springboard.

So the problem was not getting to the bed but I was worried that jumping down from the bed can be harmful to their backs (especially for rather heavy Albert with rather short legs).

Of course, the hardest part now is to teach them to use the stairs and not just jump down from the bed...

P.S: I did not construct the stairs, of course. I just gave the blueprints to the carpenter and afterwards glued the pieces of our old bathroom mat (with penguins!) to the surfaces.

High-Tech Solution For Low-Tech Problem

Because od the nature of our lives, Jitushka often wakes up to go to work/school shortly after I go to sleep. This complicates any potential start-of-the day communication, especially concerning the dogs. It's not easy to let the other person know when our dogs were last fed/walked.

I solved this problem like a man. Like a geeky nerdy man, that is. I made a special CGI web application to track the dogs.



Because we both have www-enabled mobile phones, we now just use a private URL on my webserver where we can see when the dogs were last fed and walked and we can both set these times to "now" or to some predefined times in the past ("30 minutes ago", "1 hour ago" etc.). And we can see the info and set it from any place with network coverage.

I pity the people who had to solve this problem 10 years ago. They were screwed and had to resort to uncool paper and pen.

TODO: Automatic sending of alarm SMS when the dogs are not walked for 10 hours or more!

Hardware is Confusing

Although I always liked computers and programming, I never understood computer hardware or any other electronics. I can configure software but when there are hardware problems it drives me mad. I still don't understand the difference between Amperes and Volts and I don't want to understand it (that's basically why I left the college after two years).

Knowing all this, you can imagine my terror when my LCD monitor suddenly went blank in the middle of websurfing. No, the computer did not accidentally reset. The monitor went back on in three seconds, with my Ubuntu desktop intact. I was relieved but cautious.

About 30 minutes later, the exactly same thing happened. The monitor went black and, after 3 seconds, the desktop appeared again in all its glory.

That pissed me off. Will I have to buy a new monitor? Will I have to buy a new videocard? How to diagnose this when it happens only once in 30 minutes and lasts for a few seconds? Surely this cannot be software related...? This has to be another ugly hardware problem!

Yes, it was hardware based.

Albert was sleeping under the table, warming his ass at the exact spot where the video cable was plugged in too loosely and occassionally wagging his tail...

One Year And Counting!

Today (technically yesterday), when I came home with groceries, I was surprised by this:



Yes, dear reader, we had something to celebrate. It's exactly one year since we agreed (by e-mail) that we can try dating and met personally for the first time as "boyfriend and girlfriend". I could also write "...since we had our first sex" but that doesn't feel quite right because we had sex only after (30 minutes after) we agreed that we will be dating.

In any case, it lasted far longer than anyone predicted and - maybe surprisingly - it works quite well even when we live together. Meanwhile, Jitushka not only got accepted to University (she will be a translator from English and German!) but also got herself a part-time job - courtesy of Karolina, my former girlfriend (I like it when everyone is friends with everyone else).

Yes, it works quite well so far. Let's see how it will work when we leave for Greece the next week...

UPDATE: Proof that "everyone can be friends with everyone else"!

A Moving Story

It happened last Sunday. Jitushka arrived from Liberec with large bags...



...and refused to leave.



She now lives here. She fixed Eric. Eric is now happy.



We are all happy.

Found By The Dumpster: Giant Flat Eric, Almost As New!

Double Impact

Well, Pilsen will have to wait for a few days, at least!



And now, excuse me, I'm going back to playing Burnout Paradise.

P.S: Everyone stop asking me if I am OK. Yes I am!

P.P.S: No, I didn't try to enter a space that was too narrow. I hit an oncoming car and bounced to cars parked along the road.

The Fast And The Furious

After finally getting my driver's licence (I succeeded on the 4th try!) I finally got my car. It's Skoda Felicia LXi, made in 1995.

As I don't understand cars and I don't ever want to understand cars, I used my friend's brother, who's a car mechanic, to select the car, check it and do basic maintenance. That's why any of your questions about this selection are totally pointless. From my perspective, the only important factors are that I bought a kick-ass Korean stereo (with USB and SD card playback) for it and the car's color scheme matches Albert's color scheme (click for large):



I already drove some 300 km in and around Prague, without killing anyone and without scratching my car (too much). I even drove 70 km on the highway, which should prepare me for next week's trip to Pilsen. I am trying to perfect my parallel parking skills using Grand Theft Auto and this thing. I'm probably gonna try some tuning soon.

Otherwise, everything in my life is the same (meaning "okay" or "great").

Sorry, my dear, you are confused...

It should've been two girls, one cup! This way, you'll never make it big in showbusiness, sorry...



(Taken by Vetek)

It's a Good Day...

Apart from the fact that it's Valentine's Day today, it's also exactly 6 months since I started dating Jitushka - which is far longer than any of you "sensible people" ever thought, isn't it, suckers?

In other (maybe less important) news: The first teaser Trailer for the 4th Indiana Jones movie was released today. And, I admit, it moved me almost to tears. Which, of course, has nothing to do with how I'll like the finished movie. But it just looks like Indy. Older, more fragile, but the whip still works...

However, the most important question is: Should I insist on showing the original Indy trilogy to Jitushka?

TV for Next-Gen Multimedia Entertainment

Today's powerhouse interactive videogame consoles are capable of producing unparalelled visuals. That's why I invested into (reduced price) giant plasma TV screen. Now I can practically immerse myself in all those virtual worlds!

Very Good at manual Labor

At the end of elementary school, each of us got a "recommendation for future career". Mine mentioned - among other things - that I am "not very good at manual labor", probably because I got a nasty scar on my forehead when creating wooden art item using the soldering iron, among other things.

Now, quarter a century later, I proved my teachers wrong. I bought a large pile of wood and screws and assembled my furniture. Ikea furniture. Yes, all that was inside of those boxes. I have blisters but I feel proud of myself. I am Jack's content heart.